So This Is What It’s Like

Sundays are always busy days for me. I’m the music minister at MCC San Francisco, so I get up early and drive from Rohnert Park to San Francisco (about an hour without traffic). I’m here for practice at 10:30 and then worship at noon. We have another service at 5pm, and then I head home and prep for work the next morning!

So instead of a long original post today, I’m simply going to play a song for you. Sometimes music helps us express our thoughts and feelings in ways that mere words cannot.

I wrote this song last summer. I had fallen hard for a man. And for the first time in my life, I was not shaming myself. I was accepting and embracing these feelings as beautiful, healthy, normal and God-given. Here’s the song that came from that first big crush.

So This Is What It’s Like

So this is what it’s like
To toss and turn upon my bed each night
To close my eyes and see your face each time
So this is what it’s like

So this is how it feels
To fall in love, to fall head over heels
Come out of hiding, to be true and real
So this is how it feels

And even though I know
I open up my heart to be broken
At least my heart is open
At least I know it’s possible

So this is who I am
The kind of man who really loves a man
And I’m not ashamed, I’ve found my way again
So this is who I am

And even though I know
I open up my heart to be broken
At least my heart is open
At least I know it’s possible
At least I know
At least I know it’s possible
It’s possible
I know it’s possible

So this is what it’s like
So this is how it feels
So this is who I am
Who I am