Just Showed Up for My Own Life - Pride Month Ramblings #8

Thank you so much for all the interaction with my post yesterday. It was a deeply personal one, and I’m so grateful for all the comments and the private messages. I will respond to all of you as I have time.

Today I simply want to share a song. Sara Groves is such a talented writer and performer, and I have such happy memories of having her in concert at We Are PCC. Anyone remember who opened for her? That’s right: The Matt Nightingale Band, still playing music from my “Still Standing” CD.

I know Sara didn’t intend to write a coming-out anthem, but she sure did. About this time last year, this was one of my go-to songs when I needed hope and courage. Check out these lyrics in light of my story. And if you have a hard time understanding why I did what I did, please try to understand that these words speak my heart and soul better than almost anything else:

Just Showed Up for My Own Life
Music & Lyrics by Joel Hanson & Sara Groves

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take
By working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface
Repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I’m going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel
All that’s honest and real until I’m truly amazed
I’m going to feel all my emotions
I’m going to look you in the eyes
I’m going to listen and hear
Until it’s finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright